3.21.2011

The Uncertainty Begins... again

I don't quite know how to start this post to truly convey how I really feel, so I'm just going to state the facts first.

Last Wednesday the entire staff at the private school where I teach was notified that our school would not re-open for the 2011-2012 school year.  Although we knew the financial side of things at school were starting to slip, we were all shocked.  We were fairly certain they would give us at least one more year to try to rebound before making such a big decision; unfortunately they no longer felt that they could. 

I was instantly upset for the children and families who love our school, and then I started to think of the staff.  We are a staff of teachers who considered ourselves extremely lucky to have teaching jobs in this economy, and in California where record numbers of teachers are being laid off each year.  Now we are joining the masses of unemployed teachers.  Being in a private school we considered ourselves to be safe from lay-offs.... boy were we wrong.

I am now extremely frustrated with a lot of things, but my decision to be a teacher in general is the one that is constantly plaguing me.  Not that I don't love being a teacher, but I don't think I would have ever allowed myself to chose this career if I'd known how incredibly hard it would be to have a job.  Next year will likely mark the 2nd year out of 4 that I've been out of school that I won't have a teaching job. 

Although I know I will be able find something to keep me occupied next year, it is still extremely hard to put so much time into a career, and constantly feel defeated by it. 

I know that I lot of other people are in the same boat, not just teachers.  I know I need to stop throwing myself a pity party, and look at the positives in this situation, but now I'm just mad. 

Now I am constantly thinking about what I should do now.
  • Should I take this as a sign and try to go back to school for something more steady and needed in this economy ?  I'm only 25, it's definitely not too late, but it's not like there's really anything that guarantees a good job these days... 
  • Should I weather the storm, and hope that eventually the education system in the country will sort itself out and sub in the mean time? 
  • Should I try to convince CAhusband to look for a job somewhere else so that I have a better opportunity at finding a job?  Surely it isn't this hard everywhere in the country.... nevermind, it probably is. 
I'm one of those people that would truly like to know what my next 5 years looks like... 100% !  I hate surprise, and I hate not knowing; however, I've accepted the surprise of everything is what makes life so great.  Unfortunately, this loss of a job only makes me dwell on the uncertainty of everything even more. 

I think I've rambled enough, so I'm going to leave it at that for now.  Sorry for the Debbie Down post, I just have WAY too many thoughts in my head about this right now, and thought it might help to get them all down.

I hope you're all having a great week! 

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26 comments:

A Wedding Story said...

I am so sorry! Why is teaching so uncertain? I pray you find something. I'm hoping for a job in the fall but you just never know! Keeping my fingers crossed.

Valene Marie said...

I absolutely hate not knowing as well! I constantly try to figure out my 5 year plan and where I'll be. It's not east not being in control of everything.

I worked for the County Schools (also in CA.) and I got laid off.

My mother's school is also pink slipping people, and she is Praying that she's not one of them.

Regardless of what you decide to do, always weather the storm because this too shall pass.

Elizabeth said...

Girl...first off, your blog is a place where you can have as many debbie downer posts as you like, and second of all...I want you to know I'm so praying and thinking of you! As much as it probably sucks to hear, or totally isn't what you want to hear, I believe everything happens for a reason. And maybe, just maybe.. God is preparing you for bigger and better things, even if it's a little while from now. Promise, that everything will eventually work out. Hope this makes you feel a little bit better! Praying for you and your co-workers!

melissa said...

I'm so sorry. That must be so tough not to be able to do a job you love. Good teachers should be able to teach - it's so sad that you don't know that you can. I'm thinking of you and hoping everything will work out for you.

Mrs. Mama said...

so sorry to hear this! you have every right to be mad, and it's totally not a pity party!

According to Ashley said...

So sorry, love! I'll be thinking of you! I'm a second year kindergarten teacher in North Carolina. After graduating in 2009, I couldn't find a job ANYWHERE. It was so so depressing. I got dressed up every day and drove from school to school, dropping off resumes and asking to speak with the principal (in the sweltering NC heat). The school year started and I still didn't have a job, but almost all of my friends did. :( I finally got hired 2 weeks after school started, and I am so very happy now! I'm hoping wonderful things happen for you!

the queen said...

So sorry to hear this! Sending some prayers your way for your job search/future decisions.

Lovely Little Nest said...

ugh, I am so sorry to hear that! I am also a teacher and can totally sympathize with you about this job market! My prayers will be will you as you seek direction during this tumultuous time.

{Louisiana.Bride} said...

I totally identify with you on needing to know things an not being surprised. I am having to move over the summer, and hunt for another teaching job. I am so afraid of not finding one because so far the schools are saying they aren't hiring many new people for next year. I'll be praying for you, I understand the teacher job hunt journey.

A Dance With Grace said...

I'm about to do what I swore I never would...offer personal history that might help in some way. I'm only 6 years your elder....so won't act like a life coach in any way. I was similar to you....didn't like the surprise element. I've learned this. Sometimes, it is in the closing of a door that a better door opens...that ol' cheesy saying seems to have changed many of my friends lives for the better. You never know what talents you have up your sleeve or what really cool times may lie ahead aside from what you had planned. My prayer for you tonight is that this is a start not a finish. I, too was a teacher. Now, a mom who heads up a marketing/branding at a beverage brand development company.... and who knows what the future will bring. Go figure! This job market is just so hard and I have a friend dealing with the same thing. Enough preaching from me :). Sometimes we all need to ramble. It can be so, very soothing!

Miss V said...

Thinking of you I too am looking for a teaching job for the fall and it's had its ups and downs, all I can say is treat the job search like a job in itself if you can and if you are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows this, otherwise I have had no problem getting sub work, and through subbing have made some potential job contacts and possibilities for the fall. Thanks for posting.. it's important to vent it out!! Will be thinking and praying for your situation!

Sarah @Newlywed and Decorating said...

I'm sorry that teachers don't get the respect in our society that they deserve! We should be putting so much more money into our education system and we don't and that's frustrating! People like you who've made the sacrifice and commitment to such an important job should be honored and not treated that way! Hope you find the right direction and that the right opportunity presents itself to you!

Lindsay said...

Oh girl I am so sorry about this. Trust your heart, it will never fail you :) HUGS

Jesica said...

So sorry to hear about your situation. Since you're questioning your decision to become a teacher, this may be a blessing in disguise or fate pushing you in another direction. Take the opportunity to really examine if teaching is what you want to do with your life, if you find it IS then don't worry I'm sure you'll find another job, teachers are ALWAYS needed. If it's not then you may just unexpectedly find out you have a passion for something else. Either way best of luck to you!

mel @ the larson lingo said...

that is SO frustrating!!! I am so sorry to hear this news. I am sure you will find another job....teaching is an amazing profession (even with it's ups and downs) Praying you find a new job for the fall!!!

Classy Fab Sarah said...

I am so so sorry... that sucks.

I hate the uncertainty as much as you do, and never thought my business degree would get thrown out the window for all the good it does me. Hang in there...

Dina said...

I feel your pain...I too lost my job at a private school because of program cuts due to lower enrollment. I was a French teacher-and I didn't ever consider French to be a "program", I always considered myself teaching a "core subject". 2 years later, I now have an infant, our first child, so the timing worked out perfectly! Who knows if I'll go back to teaching someday or try out a totally different career. I do understand you questioning your career choice, education unfortunately is so unknown...my friends here at the local public schools have taken a 12% pay cut. It's all just so sad...

Bri {four if by sea} said...

Don't be sorry! Everyone's entitled to a debbie downer post when things get crummy! You'll figure out the next path to take soon :)

THE Stephanie said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! I really hope things turn around for you and that you're able to stay in the career you enjoy.

April said...

I'm really sorry to hear this :( I'm not a teacher, and neither is Mark, but he sure has had his share of jobless-ness, having an undergrad history degree. It is frustrating, and really scary. Praying that some doors open for you guys and you know what you're supposed to do!

Natalie said...

I am so sorry! I do feel like everything happens for a reason so maybe this is your opportunity to pursue a different career. I ofetn wish I had gone back to interior design school, I am 30 now def not old but now that I have a child it is harder to do those things. Just follow your heart.

Virginia Belle said...

We've already talked about this but I couldn't resist putting my two cents in. I am so so sorry again and I can't imagine how frustrated and stressed out you must be right now. But I agree with everyone above that this is the perfect opportunity to reevaluate your career and where you guys live. It's hard to believe that just a couple of years ago I made the hardest decision of my life to drop the whole dentist idea and go back to nursing school (against many people's wishes). It was hard to imagine doing more school when I already had worked so hard for my pre-med degree just like you worked for your teaching degree. But it is without a doubt the best decision I ever made!

I just hope you find something you love to do everyday. Whatever you determine that to be, I know you will be beyond successful at it! Good luck with the tough decisions you have to make int he next couple of months.

If you do decide you want to stick with teaching, there are jobs here in Northern VA and I know someone who would be beyond excited to be your neighbor ;)

Day Old News said...

I'm so sorry about your school closing; can't imagine the frustration of the industry. Hope your heart leads you to the right career/opportunities. I'm so sorry we weren't able to meet up while I was in PS, things became very busy very quickly between my contractor meetings & my sister dragging me to Joshua Tree. I really, really hope to see you at Stagecoach next month, I'll be staying in La Quinta again over at The Hideaway.

MJ said...

I'm so sorry to hear this!! I have been on the pink-slip roller-coaster and can only imagine how hard it would be for the entire school to be closed next year. As I was without a class for a few months this year I did the same thinking about my future...you'll find exactly what you're meant to be doing :)

Long Island Teacher said...

I just stumbled upon your blog! I am too in similar situation! I graduated college in '08 and grad school last year. I was a nanny for a year and subbed for year. I finally just got a "TA" position this February. Although, I have my own classrooms and plans 7 daily lesson plans a day! This job is getting cut in September and my loans will be coming through. I am busting my butt to be where I am today and now I will be taking another step back! Keep sending out resumes!

Krista

LongIslandTeacher said...

Sorry for the typos above! Just got back from work after a long day!